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What Would Your Favourite Artists Be If They Were Not Musicians?

Have you ever looked at your favorite celebrity and wondered what they would do if they were not in the limelight or what they would be if the mic had not embraced them. 

Today we unravel for you some of the biggest names in the industry and the titles we think would suit them according to their appearance and their backgrounds. Please do not take offence as you are allowed to fantasize for yourself what your favorite musician would be like if they never graced the music industry.

Jose Chameleone

Described as one of the greatest of all time musicians Uganda has ever had, the musical doctor is indeed a genius in the musical field. From churning out hit after hit for a period spanning over 20 years the Leone Island boss has surely enjoyed a blossoming career. This has given him a stable reputation from which he wants to build on to ascend into the Kampala lord mayor’s office. However, what would the ‘Valu valu’ singer be if he did not escape from his father’s house in the nights to go to night clubs in an attempt to build his career?

Joseph Mayanja would have been a perfect broker. For those who do not understand who a broker is, they are middle men involved in the sale of properties. From his cunning ways simply like his name Chameleone this profession would suit him satisfactorily. He is one person who will make a deal with you and still go behind your back and sell you out as been noted in many scenarios in his career.

Bobi Wine 

Throw him anywhere and dude will fit there. Bobi wine has been applauded for his hard work in the music industry that has spanned a period of more than two decades. He is someone who can qualify as a builder serve as a Boda boda rider, frying chapatis, taxi driver and no he doesn’t only do those odd jobs, Mr. Kyagulanyi can fit presumably well in managerial roles as well and this has been demonstrated in his legislation to his businesses such as One Love beach.

He can be simply be described as a man of all seasons.

Bebe Cool

Hmmm, Moses Ssali is a man of his word, some body who can never contradict himself no matter what you expect of him, a thing that has always got him clashing with some of his fans and other people. The Silent Majority gun has also enjoyed a stellar musical career that has earned him a spot at the helm of Ugandan music.

We think Bebe would fit in the position of a strict traffic police officer. So strict that if he caught you breaking traffic rules, you would regret why you learnt driving in the first place.

The Gagamel CEO would be good at enforcing the law but if you put him aside and gave him ‘kintu kidogo’ you would be let off the look but the mere sight of Afande Ssali approaching you when you have done something wrong on the road would be an experience you would never forget.

Eddy Kenzo

The Big Talent boss has surely worked his way to the top. Regardless of people always branding his success as mere luck, the fact remains that he is there and this has been trough his hard work. 

Kenzo has had a career spanning ten years  accumulating him numerous prestigious awards and wealth that he had never dreamed of while still in Masaka.

The ‘ Sitya loss’ singer would however also do well in clothing business down in Owino if he wasn’t a musician . This is from his fashion sense and most of you can bear me witness that Edrisa Musuuza is one of the most well dressed celebrities in the country and trust me if he had not gotten that ‘Yanimba’ breakthrough hit with Mickie Wine Kenzo would be doing fine downtown calling ‘mama onogula’, ‘bulaza kano kakutuka’ but the ‘mbiro mbiro’ crooner grabbed his opportunity and he is right now one of the proud assets the Ugandan music scene boasts of.

Sheebah Karungi

From a tough life growng up with a single mother, the TNS singer  has found her way to the top of Ugandan music against all the odds stacked against her. The singer started out in the all girl group Obsessions but after its disintegration the singer went silent together with other singers from the group.

It was not until the beginning of this decade that Sheebah re-invented herself and made a comeback together with her manager Jeff Kiwa and she has not looked back ever since.

Sheebah recently unveiled her multi million dollar crib in Munyonyo and we assume that things are going the right way for her but would she be in this luxurious life if the mic had not ‘spat’ on her?

We definitely think Sheebah would be working the pole in some unknown night club to make ends meet due to the way she carries her sexuality in public and in her music videos.  The ‘Onkuba’ singer is not shy to flaunting her sexuality despite public outcry and damnation she has gotten. Sheebah would definitely be a good entertainer on a theme Wednesday or Friday night in some hangout spot that Father Simon Lokodo would be lookig to ban without hesitation.

Juliana Kanyomozi

The princess from Tooro might be not hitting the airwaves as she did back in the day but that does not take away the fact that she is one of Uganda’s best divas ever and has been an inspiration to many current artists in the industry.

The ‘Guluma’ singer would perfectly suit a position high up in the civil service, like a Jennifer Musisi commanding an administrative position because of her calm demeanor. She has demonstrated her skills in the Tusker Project Fame as a judge and is one artiste known to handle her issues in a very calm way.

We therefore think whatever department, agency she would be in would performance excellently.

Spice Diana

The ’32’ singer would do good as a cheerleader or even a video vixen. The petite beauty is portable and would look marvelous at turning her waist in front of basketball crowd.

The ‘Omusheshe’ Singer would not be bad appearing in Kabako’s or Dj Micheal’s song wiggling to the beat.

Fik Fameica

Barely a few years on the scene, but the ‘Omu bwati’ rapper has already made the lugaflow scene his. Last year saw the singer churn out hit after a hit a thing that prompted him to organize his flopped ‘My Journey concert’.

Before Fik joined the music scene, he used to ‘kuyiliba’ hustle from downtown dealing in clothes but we do think Fik would do quite well as a taxi conductor on those taxis from Kawempe.

Rapping ‘Kawempe, Kagoma, Kawanda, Matugga njagala omu bwati’ dude would surely lock it. He’s got the attributes of perfect taxi conductor.

A pass

The goat could not miss on this list. We at times wonder why he doesn’t drop music and join comedy or even do both. The ‘Tuli kubi bigere’ singer is a social media comic who makes fun about almost everything. Apass would be doing good in the ‘kazivuge’ comedy group alongside Jjaja Bruce and would be a regular at Alex Muhangi’s Thursday Show Comedy Store.

Navio

Do you remember the soaps that use to premier including the Mexican hunks with names such as Diego’s Fabians. These were filthy rich kids doing whatever they pleased because money was at their disposal and man, Navio looks like the sort of kid that would spend most of his time in the Bahamas, Hawaii and other Caribbean countries getting spoilt with mummy’s money.

The ‘Bad man from Kamwokya’ rapper would certainly be every girl’s dream in order to enjoy a bit of his money.

Gravity Omutujju

No doubt Gravity would be a scrap dealer and we are not going to argue about that. The Malangaja’ rapper was simply lucky to escape his misery life in the slums of Nakulabye where he had been dealing in old metal.

He has gone on to establish himself as one of the ever relevant Lugaflow rappers and he should always than God for that.

Lydia Jazmine

I think she is the sexiest female singer at the moment and trust me every male in the music scene is running after her to have a taste of her goodies. Go ask Bruno K or Daddy Andre you will know what is embedded in her. The ‘Masuuka singer would for sure be a slay queen playing guys. She looks to be the type of girl that would tell ‘Jimmy’ she’s got no phone and at the same time tell Nick and Tom the samething and they would all be fooled by her charm.

John Blaq

Do you need a cheap phone or anything related to gadgets, then look no further than the husky voiced ‘Do Dat’ singer. John Blaq looks like those chaps at Mutaasa Kafeero dealing in ‘enago’, black market phones.

He has enjoyed a very fast rise and brief successful stint in the music industry but the singer looks like he would have been good at availingcheap ‘deal’ phones and other electrical appliances if he wasn’t a singer.

Ykee Benda

Boy so tender on every girl’s agenda atunda muziki tatunda byenda’ what would you have done if your ;malaika single had not handed you fruitful results.

I think Benda would have been the perfect player. Having every girl on his agenda indeed, having his ‘ka vitz car’ and renting some apartment and waiting to tear his prey to pieces. The superman singer would be the sort of person waiting to be laid by mature loaded women because he looks good and would therefore ensure to hang out in high profile places to hook his successful hardworking female clients.

Rema 

So innocent when you look at her and we think by now Rema would be married to a high profile person in the government owning a boutique at Acacia mall or some where else. The ‘Gutujja’ singer looks like the sort of woman whose man would cheat on her and she will simply play it cool. Since her hit ‘bamukuza’. Rema would also not mind being a sit at home mom because of her modest and uncontroversial life.

Irene Ntale 

This is the girl your mama probably told you to take home to her and give her grand kids. The ‘nzenna nzenna’ singer is the perfect church girl your mum will be afraid of you bringing at family functions because of her character and with her church background, Ntale would by now be one of the leading vocalists at the local church choir.

Fille

She has the looks, the body and the sweet voice so why not appoint her as an air hostess in our own Bombardier planes and File Mutoni will give you the perfect services you will need to see the infant air crafts soar up in terms of profits.

The ‘Got no money’ singer would also do good in a five star hotel such as Serena Hotel and trust me the hotel would have to acquire more space to accommodate the high numbers of men that would be flocking the premises everyday just to get a glimpse of the beautiful sensation.

Cindy Sanyu

Part of the original girl group Blu 3, Cindy has gone on to relish in a prominent solo music career that has seen her still elevate up to greater heights untill today. But what would the King herself be if it wasn’t music, Cindy would be competing with Sheebah Karungi in offering pole dancing services. The two would be in each others throats competing on who would offer the best services to their clients.

Desire Luzinda

She’s got  you all the things you would ever want from a woman and that’s the reason Fresh Daddy is hunting for ‘ Mazike’ inorder to have a piece of what he saw a few years back. The ‘Nina Omwami’ singer surely would not be afraid of chewing the former manicurist’s hard earned dime if he came around. Desire had a record of bonking almost every prominent rich figure who came knocking at her door as she was and is confident of what she possesses in the Southern region and we don’t think it would have been any different if music had not upgraded her portfolio the elite status she is at now.

Written by sigmund

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